The acting throughout this 2012 direct-to video film was intolerable. There were so many sad performances in this film that it would be nearly impossible to single one (or several) out from the mix for better or worse.

The plot line in this travesty (new to the web) is exactly what you would expect. A beach town full of hard-bodied college students wearing little clothing, menaced by… a two-headed shark. Professor Babish (Charlie O’ Connell) leads his “semester at sea” class, with Anne Babish (Carmen Electra, Scary Movie) on a deep water excursion. Here, their boat is attacked by aforementioned two-headed shark.

The boat starts taking on water as they spot an atoll. Pulling into land, a diver goes overboard to fix the ship, with predictable results. Worse yet, right after this, we are treated to two women, who as they are talking about the fact that there is a giant two-headed shark in the water, go wading in the water. You know as well as I do how that works out for them. And, the atoll starts sinking.

It’s pretty clear two minutes into the movie that the special effects are going to be bad. Really bad. I’m convinced a couple of semi-talented high school students in an AV lab could do better. I also have no idea how many times that two people would be wading together in water, when both of them would be eaten at once, in one (or is it two?) giant gulps from the bi-headed Chondrichthye. I’ll save you the suspense. In this movie, EVERY time two people are standing together in the water, they will be eaten in one swift leap by the shark. (How could a shark at least 20 feet long swim and jump in three feet of water?)

There is a trick in cinematography filmmakers use if they cannot make a creature look really scary. They can sometimes get great results from showing the creature as little as possible, using shadows and the reactions of actors to create a sense of dread. This was well done in Jaws, as well as the original cut of The Empire Strikes Back with the ice cave monster. This is a movie which could have used a lot more of that. Or lot less of the shark, however that works.

I usually try to find something good to say about every movie. For this one, I’m coming up with nothing except that it eventually ends. If you are ever given a choice of wading in shark-infested water, or seeing this supercilious sad sack of a shark film, consider your options carefully.

The storyline of this movie is that the Earth is being threatened by Loki (a Devil-like creature, who is the brother of Thor, loosely based on Norse mythology) and his army of aliens (who do not arrive until quite late in the movie). This threat forces Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Samuel L. Jackson) to bring together a team of mutants and super-powered beings to save the planet from certain destruction.

Directed by Joss Whedon (who also directed 2005′s Serenity), this movie held few surprises, although some of the scenes were quite spectacular from a grandiose standpoint. While some of the use of 3D felt natural and very well done, other parts (mostly the fight scenes, where you would want it to be best) seemed to be lacking a realistic feel.

There were certainly some continuity issues. The first time we see Bruce Banner turn into the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), he burns with rage, attacking anyone in sight, regardless of whether they are friend or foe. The second time, he calmly stands around for several minutes in a huddle, waiting for orders.

The Avengers stars Robert Downey Jr. reprising his role as Iron Man from the movies of the same name, Chris Evans as Captain America (the same role he played in The First Avenger), and Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) as the Black Widow.

Although the acting from most of the stars was fine, I felt that Evans gave the same sort of wooden performance that he provided in the earlier Captain America movies. And, as great an actor as he is, it is beginning to feel like Samuel L. Jackson is playing the same character in every movie.

The Avengers, which cost $220 million to create, became the first-ever film to have an opening weekend over $200 million, nearly entirely recouping Walt Disney’s significant investment in the film in just 48 hours. After just 19 days at the box office, the movie grossed one billion dollars in sales. This tied the record for the shortest amount of time that it has taken any film to achieve that distinction, (with Avatar from 2009 and 2011′s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2). Naturally, Disney has already announced that a sequel is in development, called The Avengers 2. We even see an opening at the end of this movie, essentially introducing the second film in the series. Let’s hope that it has more surprises than this film held.

The Perfect Student

Nicole Johnson (played by Natasha Henstridge, Ghosts of Mars), a professor of both Jordan and Laura, becomes embroiled in the investigation, and as she does so, she becomes more and more personally involved as her feelings become tied in with the unfolding events.

The only acting that I really found to be forced and unnatural was that of Carlson Young as Laura. To be fair, her character seemed to have the worst lines of anyone in the cast, so it may not all be the fault of  the actress. Also, her character dies early on in the film, so it is not as bad as it could have been.

The cinematography was one of the best things about this film. Many of the scenes made transitions from a steady camera to a free camera format, which was done quite well. One of the few criticisms I have of the way the movie was shot and edited is that, at times, there were more establishing shots than might have been needed as scenes were introduced. One example was: about ten minutes into the film, we see a shot of a city, then another view of a city with a park, then a shot of the sun, then a shot of an apartment building. One shot of an apartment building in a city on a sunny day would have established the scene without being as clumsy-looking. The soundtrack had some great highlights, especially as it related to the scenes. At times, the sound effects were not ideal and could be overly loud.

Some of the dialog was too predictable (“She’s a murderer, Nicole!” “Alleged!”) and felt somewhat strained because of it. None of it was surprising, and the script (written by Peter Sullivan and Jeffrey Schenck), was all-in-all pretty middle of the road.

This movie could be summed up with the same words that Nicole Johnson uses to describe the schoolwork of the murdered student: it does “just enough to get by.”

Grade: C.

Tom Solomon (Segel) and his girlfriend of one year Violet Barnes (Blunt)  find themselves at the start of a long engagement.  Solomon proposes early in the film, and we get to watch the next five years play out.  Believe me, it’s fun.

This comedy is not a silly one.  We’ve seen many films by the stars lately, and over the years, that are just disappointing.  At times, some comedies are so silly, it’s as if the film was made just to make a quick buck.

The Five-Year Engagement has substance.  The movie has an interesting storyline, filled with a cast of characters that you will want to watch.  The film closely follows the star couple, as well as Violet’s  sister and her husband.  The parent roles are active in this film, adding a flavor of fun and idiosyncratic humor.

During the long engagement, the couple has its blessings, and of course its troubles.  The ambiance of the film is that of truth and possibility.  The events are very believable.  The characters are interesting, and they play their parts well.  I think by the end of this movie, you will find your eyes misting up.  You will be so wrapped up in the lives of these people, that you may feel awkward walking out of the theater in tears.  So, dry them up and get on your way!

If you don’t watch this film on the big screen, be sure to get it when it’s available to rent.  It’s well done and worth your while.  My final grade for this film is B+.  Enjoy!

The story is simple enough, revolving around a pirate (narrated by Hugh Grant) and his quest for the coveted “Pirate of the Year Award.” Bragging rights among Pirate Captain’s rival pirates inevitably lead him to do something regrettable. In this case, the regrettable action is the trading of Pirate Captain’s prized dodo bird to Queen Victoria, who has a secret society amongst world leaders dedicated to eating endangered animals. Consequently, Pirate Captain and his crew set off to right their wrongs and save “Polly,” the dodo. Not exactly the most child-friendly topic, but it’s presented in such a cartoony, cheesy way that not even PETA would find the “parrot-near-peril” scenes offensive, although they can be a little unnerving. Given the plot, action and swashbuckling scenes are common and extremely entertaining, and a lot of slapstick comedy is implemented. Even better, amongst all of the action, the movie still finds a way to pace itself so that it remains an intriguing story with depth.

Pirates! Band of Misfits is, no doubt, a fun and rambunctious adventure, but the witty dialogue is what really makes this movie worth seeing for young children and adults. The script is fantastic and is surprisingly clever, leaving adults something to pick up on and enjoy. One example of this occurs when Pirate Captain enters a scientific discovery competition under the guise of being a world-renowned scientist. When he is curious as to what the prize is, he goes around asking, “What is the sterling to doubloon exchange rate around here?” The film’s little nods to adults make watching Pirates an enjoyable experience for both children and adults.

What Pirates! Band of Misfits does is something pretty remarkable because it’s a claymation film that retains its ability to be child-friendly and cartoony while also entertaining adults. I wouldn’t recommend this film for teens, but parents looking for a good movie to see with the kids will be delighted by this nautical adventure.

Chimpanzee

The story of Oscar starts with the day of his arrival. Shots of a baby chimp in his mother’s arms are quite heart-warming and rather cute. But this moment is very short-lived. Three months later, Oscar is more active and interactive but still very much attached to mommy. It is here where the real story about Oscar begins.

For a major part of the movie, the whole emphasis is on survival. Survival in the rainforest depends on finding food. You will quickly learn a lot about the things chimps like to feast on including a surprising source of meat. They eat almost constantly.

However, the rainforest is not without its hidden dangers such as leopards, potential starvation, and another group of chimpanzees bent on acquiring new prime territory where the nut trees grow. Avoiding these dangers is dependent on the leader of Oscar’s group, Freddy. Freddy is the alpha male who grabs the best food for himself and who rules alone.

But it isn’t so much the story that makes this movie particularly impressive. It is the amazing panoramic views of the rainforest and the very up close views of the chimps in action. Kids will get a kick out of seeing small chimps play, watch with some amazement as they crack nuts, and smile at the babies wrapped in mother’s arms. Also highly featured in the movie are fast forward photography, sunsets, sunrises, and one very impressive storm.

However, there probably isn’t going to be enough action to keep older kids entertained unless they are deeply interested in nature documentaries. There are a few tense moments, but most of the movie features unique aspects of the rainforest, such as the frantic frenzy of ants and glow-in-the-dark mushrooms.

Chimpanzee is a movie that will delight some kids but can leave other children bored even with its short run time of one hour and 18 minutes. However, everyone can appreciate the struggle involved in the effort to survive.

The Lucky One,

Zac Efron plays U.S. Marine Logan Thibault, who has managed to survive three tours of duty in Iraq.  The last tour is a bit dicey, with Efron and his fellow marines being ambushed by the enemy several times.  During one attack, Logan finds a photo of a pretty young woman.  Other American soldiers die but Logan is “the lucky one” because he survives. He credits the photo with being his lucky charm.  When he goes back to the States, he first heads home to Colorado, but when that doesn’t pan out, he WALKS to Louisiana to try to find the woman in the photo.  Logan ends up finding her — Beth’s a young, single mom to a clever and thoughtful seven-year-old boy, Ben. Logan ends up working for Beth, playing with Ben, and falling deeply in love. When he tells Beth that she “should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute,” the audience’s jaws dropped. Bliss in the bayou doesn’t last long, however, as the plot takes a sinister twist when Beth’s abusive ex-husband decides to intervene.

The scenery in The Lucky One  — Louisiana’s willow-filled bayous – is beautiful and romantic, and the acting is surprisingly strong.  Zac Efron, muscular and sweaty, rocks in this film. He does the U.S. Marine Corps proud by always showing courage and strength in the heat of battle both in Iraq and at home. Ephron has clearly put his High School Musical days behind him and I hope he stars in more films like this one. Blythe Danner as Beth’s grandmother is, characteristically of Danner, that rare combination of subtle, yet feisty. One moment she’s benign, the next thing you know, she’s trying to shake some common sense into the younger people in her world: “Start appreciating the memories you have and stop begrudging the ones you never got to make.” Jay R. Ferguson, who plays Beth’s deranged ex-husband, is convincingly scary and delivers a performance that’s reminiscent of Glenn Close’s in Fatal Attraction. Taylor Schilling, as Beth, does a great job of portraying a single mom who is torn between living a sad, fear-filled, lonely life and risking everything she treasures by falling in love.

The Lucky One is suspenseful and entertaining from start to finish and its ending left this reviewer in tears. I couldn’t help but notice that the rest of the audience loved the film, too.

The plot is pretty involved, but can be summed up as follows: A group  of four guys are enjoying their carefree relationship lives, while the four women who are in romantic ties with them discover Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment, which inspires them to improve their relationships. The book ultimately changes the men’s mindsets on how they should treat their special ladies, but only after a hilarious two-hour mashup of ensuing escapades. The guys are divided into a few personalities, which range from Dominic (Michael Ealy) as an aspiring chef chasing an independent and financially successful woman named Lauren (Taraji P. Henson), to Cedric (Kevin Hart) who is going through a divorce and provides the “I don’t need a woman to be happy” comic relief character. The movie is paced fantastically between all of the different relationships and scenarios, never sticking to one long enough to become stale, but never short enough to leave you feeling cheated. The real key to what makes the different scenes so enjoyable, though, is the acting and writing.

The story is clever on its own, but it becomes exponentially better when coupled with the fantastic acting and comical dialogue that are scattered throughout the majority of the film. I couldn’t help but snicker or laugh out loud at least every five minutes or so. Even better, the humor isn’t aimed directly at women. There are a lot of male-oriented jokes that are sure to keep everyone who watches this film entertained. And although the romantic/dramatic parts are short lived, they still carry enough weight to make them feel important and moving.

This is made possible by great actors and actresses that keep the film feeling fresh and fluid, something I can’t say a lot of romantic comedies have done lately.

Overall, Think Like a Man is a modern and enjoyable movie sure to please everyone. It’s got enough humor to put a smile on anyone’s face and enough romance to make it qualify as being one of the best romantic comedies currently in theaters.

Beneath the Darkness

The movie centers around four friends, Travis (Tony Oller), Abby (Aimee Teegarden, Scream 4), Brian (Stephen Lunsford, Maneater), and Danny (Devon Werkheiser) who witness a friend being murdered. Believing it to be a local creepy mortician named Ely (played by Dennis Quaid), they plot to expose him as the murderer. Ely, however, is a beloved former local football star adored by the town’s residents. From there, every moment of the film seems to roll out exactly as you would suspect – from dialog to plot twists (barely deserving the name) to the background music.

The four actors playing the parts of Travis, Abby, Brian and Danny all seemed pretty stiff in the delivery of the (albeit, badly written) lines. The 2011 film, shot for $7.3 million dollars, could not even be saved by Dennis Quaid (2011′s Footloose), who himself was hamming it up throughout the film.

Director Martin Guigui did not distinguish himself at all with this work, and I have to wonder – could the writers, the actors and the cinematographers and lighting people all be this bad, or is Guigui to blame?

One of the more enjoyable moments in the film is when the four go spying outside a house at night (at least, we think it’s night – it could be high noon in that movie and you’d still trip over a street curb), and just their four faces are illuminated as they huddle in a diamond pattern, staring into a window, looking like the cover of Queen II.

This is a movie which held no surprises at all, and the ending was pretty formulaic. In fact, the movie would have been improved if they had just done the Scooby-Doo ending. It might have been a bright spot in an otherwise dark film.

It is new to the web now, and you can probably find something better (or at least easier) to watch.

Lockout

Writer Luc Besson takes Lockout’s story a step further by aiming less at the thrill of explosions and more towards the dark psychological horror of being trapped in a space station with the most dangerous criminals alive. For that reason, Lockout is not for everyone. There is no trace, whatsoever, of a Transformers-esque experience with a shallow plot and lots of flashy fight scenes. Instead, Lockout provides viewers with 90 minutes of horrific audio-visual experiences featuring inmates involved in one mentally-scarring incident after another. Viewers, for instance, get to watch one inmate stab his brother through the chest. They also witness another inmate’s skull being cut wide open for a research experiment.

In this film, character after character suffers a painful, gruesome death and some downright freaky stuff happens aboard the frightening space prison. This isn’t your average “male hero rescues a damsel in distress story,” either. The film’s hero, Snow, really doesn’t want to rescue Emily because he knows how bad the odds are: “I’d rather castrate myself with blunt rocks.” Nonetheless, he does try to rescue the president’s daughter, only because if he succeeds, he’ll be a free man. Hence, by the time Snow ends up reaching Emily inside the prison, there’s no joyous reunion.

The chemistry between the two lead characters never really gels; consequently, I had a hard time fully connecting with either of them. The ironic part is that although the characters themselves are shallow, the dialogue is probably the highlight of Lockout. The clever, witty, and edgy dialogue does an all-around fantastic job at making the viewer laugh out loud or gasp in shock.

Lockout, as  an experiment in a new hybrid genre, is fantastic, but the film needs to tone down the violence if it wants to appeal to a wider audience. Lockout was just plain too scary at times and that was probably the biggest issue I had with this film overall. Despite its PG-13 rating, this film is too violent for younger teens. I recommend Lockout for viewers with cast-iron stomachs who crave a new sci-fi-action-horror experience.

The film’s website: http://www.lockoutfilm.com/