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The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one reared by a curator at the Louvre where an albino assassin lurks; another, a refugee from Mexican libre wrestling; the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane; and the fourth a normal resident of a mutant X-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia with a silent G. There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.