One for the Money

He Said:
The fact that the character of Stephanie Plum was the bounty hunter heroine from Janet Evanovich’s popular book  series was the movie’s only saving grace for me. As a person who craves either incredible special effects or an incredible story, this is the kind of film I tend to avoid at all costs: a cheesy romance with an action plot. I’m not trying to bag on all romantic comedies, as there are some I really do enjoy. Just to give that statement some relevance, I thought Life As We Know It, which also starred Katherine Heig, was a decent romantic comedy.

Unfortunately, the story’s origin could not save the film’s interpretation from disaster. As I suspected, it was another cheesy romance with some action thrown in. I just didn’t feel pulled into the film. Probably my biggest issue is the severe lack of chemistry between the characters. Frankly, I like Jason O’Mara as an actor, but I think he should stick to the TV series Terra Nova or try a different kind a film. There seemed to be a lack of connection between him and the other characters in the film. I think Katherine Heigl regressed with this film. As much as I like her as an actress, I’m not really sure she can pull off an action heroine.

My Rating: TV or don’t bother.

She Said:
I can’t figure out why I keep insisting we see Katherine Heigl movies. I guess I just want to like her as I once did when she played Izzie Stevens on Grey’s Anatomy. Unfortunately, every time I watch her play the same girl-next-door-in-over-her-head character I have the opposite reaction – I want to punch that doe-eye surprised look off her face.

Heigl’s character, Stephanie Plum, is supposed to be a brazen, reluctantly courageous, funny character. On screen, she’s just annoying. The predictable plot focuses on Plum’s first assignment as a retail lingerie clerk turned Bounty Hunter – she has to capture corrupt cop, Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), who just so happens to be the boy she lost her virginity to several years ago. What an unlikely coincidence!

The unimaginative plot revolves around a tired push-pull anti-relationship between fugitive and captor. Didn’t I already see something like this with Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in The Bounty Hunter? Actually, that’s not a fair comparison. The chemistry between Heigl and O’Mara makes Aniston and Butler’s chemistry look like Romeo and Juliet.

One for the Money was a colossal train-wreck. The screenplay is a convoluted mess, the chemistry is flat, the supporting cast is bland at best, and the dialogue is forced and unnatural.

My Rating: Don’t Bother

Joyful Noise

I’ve spoken to several people who saw it and were deeply disappointed because it wasn’t the Christian movie they thought it would be. Joyful Noise is rated PG-13 and fully deserves it for a select handful of words that are a bit of a shock to the system considering the nature of the film. But properly put into perspective as a secular film, Joyful Noise is fairly tame.

From beginning to end, Joyful Noise is full of down home country wisdom that sounds absolutely natural coming out of Dolly Parton’s unnaturally preserved mouth. She and her folksy compatriots from Paccashaw, Georgia offer up such countrified pearls as “When foxes pack the jury box, the chicken is always guilty,” “I’d call you stubborn but it’d be an insult to mules,” “There’s always free cheese in the mousetrap but trust me, the mice there ain’t happy,” and “When you sing, the angels just about spit with envy.”

The film follows the members of a small town church choir competing in a national Gospel competition. Along the way the daughter of the choir director and the grandson of one of its prominent members begin a forbidden romance.

Alternately touching and funny, Joyful Noise accomplishes the goal of providing a platform for the musical talents of the stellar cast, which includes Parton, Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, Jeremy Jordan, and – in a much too brief cameo performance – Kirk Franklin. It doesn’t cater to the most likely audience for a movie about a church choir and filled with Gospel music. Instead, it tries, and ultimately fails, to bridge the gap and be worldly enough for a general audience but “churchy” enough for fans of films like Courageous and Fireproof.

When Harry Met Sally

Harry meets Sally when they graduate from the University of Chicago, and Sally gives Harry a ride to New York City.  Like vinegar and water, they don’t mix well.  The main topic of their drive is whether men and women can be friends.  It is determined that a heterosexual friendship is not possible and, thus, they part ways upon their arrival in NYC.

Of course, that isn’t the end for Harry and Sally, or we wouldn’t have a movie.  As these things happen, they meet up again on a flight.  However, Harry still holds true to his belief that men and women can’t be friends, and again they part ways when the journey ends.

With some twist of fate Harry and Sally reunite at a bookstore.  Both are single, having gone through break-ups recently.  They agree to dinner together, and with this a platonic relationship begins.  If it were simple, the friendship would quickly blossom into a romance, but that is not the case, which is part of what makes this movie so charming.  There are ups and downs and interesting twists before the movie draws to an end.

The ending of this movie takes place on New Year’s Eve, making it a great movie to watch at this time of year.  I won’t share the ending with you; you’ll need to watch it for yourself.

Get ready to enjoy seeing the changes of fashion, as the movie progresses from 1977 to 1989.  Also, if movies can make you cry, you may want to have a tissue or two handy.

A Cinderella story, its writing and acting help the audience forget that the protagonist is a hooker.  Julia Roberts does a fine job of playing Vivian, a young woman who has taken to prostitution and lacks social graces.  Her inexperience with fine dining, upscale shopping, and even common manners (such as how to dispose of chewing gum) makes her seem simply like clay that needs molding, as opposed to being rude or uneducated.

The hero in this story is business mogul, Edward, played by Richard Gere.  A man who is focused on his career and making money, he suddenly realizes the value of companionship in Vivian.  While intending only to enter into a business relationship with Vivian as his escort for the week, Edward develops an appreciation for her and for a new side of himself.

Of course, as this is a classic rescue the girl story, there are battles to be fought and enemies to overcome.  The ending, while not surprising, is charming.  If you are seeking a happy ending, this movie delivers.

Pretty Woman is a movie that you need to accept at face value.  Don’t try to rationalize the odds of a prostitute being picked up by a well-to-do businessman and having a happily ever after ending in which she no longer needs to walk the streets.  Simply watch it for the light moments and feel good ending.

New Year’s Eve

He Said:
After seeing Valentine’s Day, I really didn’t have high hopes for this movie. Based on the previews, it appeared to be an exact replica of Valentine’s Day that takes place on a different holiday. Valentine’s Day was a film about the lives and relationships of various people. Sort of like a bunch of short films that have been put together to make one movie and frankly, I was not impressed. The biggest draw to Valentine’s Day was having practically every noteworthy actor make an appearance in the film. I was hoping New Year’s Eve would have something else to pull me into the story, but much to my dismay, it didn’t. It felt like I was watching the Oscars as a smorgasbord of famous actors and their cousins made an appearance in the film.

Despite the sheer acting power of such a star-studded cast, I thought the acting was terrible. I didn’t really care about any of the characters and I wasn’t really buying into any of their stories, as the acting felt too forced a lot of the time. The other problem was that  it felt like I was staring at a really busy Hawaiian shirt. There were just too many stories to follow to give each one proper consideration, and not enough character development. I feel like I could have gotten the same enjoyment out of  the E! Entertainment channel on cable TV.

My Rating: Don’t bother.

She Said:
As a hopeless romantic, I really wanted to like this movie. I agree with Michael that its predecessor, Valentine’s Day, was a complete bust. I was hoping Hollywood learned from its earlier mistakes and would give us a montage film worthy of competing with Love, Actually.

Unfortunately, all New Year’s Eve has to offer is a mashed-up compilation of every unoriginal romantic comedy movie ever made…performed by every big name actor in the business. In fact, I think that was part of this movie’s downfall – with so many big name actors in the film, I never really got to know any of the characters, much less care about them. Just as I started getting a teeny bit interested in a particular story line, the movie jumped to another plot, leaving me feeling disconnected from the characters.

The best thing I can say about this movie is, it reminded me to work on my New Year’s resolutions. In fact, let me save you some time and money: skip this movie and work on your own New Year’s resolutions instead – you’ll have more fun.

My Rating: Don’t Bother

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

In Breaking Dawn – Part 1, Edward and Bella get married. They take their honeymoon and consummate their marriage only to discover Bella is pregnant shortly after. Jacob must make the hard decision to help protect Bella, the woman he loves, from his own kind — or help the werewolves destroy the Cullens and the vampire which grows inside Bella.

He Said:
I really do enjoy movies about vampires and werewolves. I think some of the better examples are Interview with a Vampire and the Underworld series. I’m not the biggest fan of the Twilight Saga. There are things I like about it, but more things I dislike about it. I think of it as a teen drama about relationships that has the added twist of vampires and werewolves thrown in to attract a bigger audience. Vampires that have skin that sparkles in sunlight? Come on. If you’re going to do something like that to an undead creature like a vampire, you’d better give it a pretty elaborate purpose, and I haven’t seen any reason yet, other than it looks shiny.

I can sort of get on board with a high school romance, but with these movies, it’s just too over the top for me. There’s just too much, “I’m going to die a horrible death without you in my arms” feel to the films, and the latest film remains consistent. I will say that of all of the films in the Twilight Saga, I like the storyline for Breaking Dawn the best, but I also thought it had the worst acting of any of them. There were several scenes where I had a smirk on my face because of the excessive amount of cheese — and don’t even get me started on the telepathic talking wolves.

My Rating: Because the movie still holds some supernatural entertainment, I’ll say wait for DVD. If you don’t care for vampires or werewolves, I’d say don’t bother.

She Said:
Personally I was never sucked into the Twilight franchise. I attempted to read the first book, but couldn’t get past Meyer’s awful writing. From that moment on, I tried to appreciate the saga for what it was –- a teenage love triangle packed with brooding werewolves and sparkling vampires. I’ll even admit that I had a tiny bit of fun with a few of the movies in the saga and wasn’t entirely unenthusiastic about seeing Breaking Dawn last weekend.

The movie opens with Bella and Edward in the final stages of planning their wedding. We immediately find out that Bella still wants to be transformed into a vampire…after the honeymoon. This leads to an awkward confrontation between Jacob and Edward (in front of Bella) where they fight about whether or not Edward’s lovemaking will kill Bella. Of course Bella doesn’t care – she wants Edward so badly she’s willing to take the risk. This is pretty much where I checked out of the movie (and we weren’t even 10 minutes in). I can appreciate falling madly, deeply in love with someone and losing yourself in that feeling, but this is above and beyond lunacy. Bella is so enthralled with Edward she’s actually willing to die for a little action? Come on. Give me a heroine I can actually relate to.

Of course it just gets worse from here. While Bella manages to survive Eddie’s lovin’, she now has to worry about his demonic seed growing inside her. The central story of this movie revolves around Bella’s pregnancy and her determination to carry the baby despite the fact that it’s killing her. I couldn’t get past the idiocy of her choices to feel even the slightest bit of sympathy for her.

In addition to giving us a stupid heroine, Breaking Dawn also offers us long, drawn-out, visually appealing scenes that do absolutely nothing to push the plot forward, clumsy dialogue, and horrible acting. The only good thing I can say about this film is that it was only 108 minutes long.

My Rating: Don’t Bother

The film begins with the protagonist, Lane Myer, awakening, and it instantly becomes obvious he is obsessed with a girl named Beth.  From here, it shows him and his family going through their morning routines.  It is a satire of life in the eighties, with the stereotypical father trying to prevent the paper boy from breaking a garage window, the semi-crazy Stepford-Wifesque mother making a horrendous breakfast, and the youngest boy playing with his toys.  This scene sets the tone for the movie.  It is a comedy with an intelligent, satirical type outlook on life.

Lane is dumped by his girlfriend, who happens to be Beth, and it is not taken well by him.  Beth dumps him by saying, “Lane, I think it’d be in my best interest if I dated somebody more popular. Better looking. Drives a nicer car.”  He becomes suicidal, but proves to be incapable of even successfully killing himself.  Other thing go wrong, too, such as his quick stint with a job, a date he is set up on, and his parents’ car crashing.  Meanwhile, the French foreign exchange student, named Monique, across the street is dealing with the insufferable people who live there, namely an obese, antisocial son who “Keeps trying to put his testicles on me.” (Those are  Monique’s words; she means tentacles.)  Slowly, Lane begins to fall for her, and they get very close.  He then gets a chance to win his ex-girlfriend back by beating the ski team captain.  Amongst all this, Lane’s best friend’s attempt to get high off of random items and his brother’s intellect and ability to attract trashy women provide more laughs.

Better Off Dead is a true American classic.  It is a somewhat family-friendly comedy that has both blunt and intelligent humor.  If you haven’t seen it, watch it today!

He Said:

The acting in the movie was decent and the characters fairly believable. It was interesting to watch how the story would unfold and how the situation between Rachel, Dex and Darcy would be resolved. Ethan (John Krasinski from “The Office”) brought great humor to the movie as Rachel’s friend and confidant.

I am more of a fan of Sci-Fi/Action movies, so this movie doesn’t get any points from me for being an exciting movie to watch. However, I can be a sucker for a love story/drama if it’s really done right. This movie ranks somewhere in the middle of that category for me.

My Rating: Wait for TV

She Said:
Darcy (Kate Hudson) plays a carefree party-girl who has built her lifelong friendship with stoic Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) on manipulation and emotional bullying. The story is about Darcy and Rachel’s friendship and the man in their lives, Dex.

Dex is Rachel’s law-school classmate/unrequited love interest who happens to be engaged to Darcy. Naturally, everyone can see that Rachel and Dex are a better match so it’s no surprise when they end up sleeping together right before the wedding. Really it’s no surprise at all since this is where the story starts and ends.

I didn’t like, and couldn’t really connect with, any of the main characters. Darcy was narcissistic, Rachel was a doormat, and Dex was a wimp. The only characters I remotely liked were Darcy’s best friend Ethan (John Krasinski) who brought a little grounding humor to the movie; Dex’s best friend Marcus (Steve Howey), a repugnant skirt-chaser; and Darcy’s desperate friend Claire (Ashley Williams), whose cougarish pursuit of Ethan created some comic relief.

I understand the message  the movie was going for – you don’t owe your selfish bestie your happiness, especially when the lines between love and loyalty are blurred. Unfortunately, the message got lost in too many back-story flashbacks, lackluster conversations, melodramatic rain scenes, improbable character choices, and oh yeah…a ridiculous dance routine to Salt-n-Pepper’s Push It.

My Rating: Wait for TV

The cinematic sports world  follows much different rules than the actual sports world. In sports movies, every team is either a lovable underdog, or an evil group of cocky cheaters standing in the underdogs’ way – and any team is just a spirit-building montage away from playing like champions. And in sports movies, every game is important, and every team is destined to make a championship run by the end of the season.

In the actual sports world, almost every sports team (and its fans) ends the season mourning its failure, not celebrating a championship. Half the league doesn’t even make the playoffs, and most teams don’t really follow a compelling story – they’re just guys playing a game. Whether they’re in a good mood or a bad mood, most teams in the league aren’t good enough to win a pennant.

Bull Durham takes place in the actual sports world, and by ignoring the traditional (and clichéd) sports movie story arc, it creates a lighthearted, authentic, warmly comic picture of baseball (and what draws so many fans to it.)

The movie tells the story of the Durham Bulls, a mediocre minor-league team full of has-beens and hopefuls toiling in obscurity in North Carolina. We watch a season in the life of the team through lifelong fan Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), a part-time college English professor who attends every game. Each season, Sarandon selects a different player, making him her lover and a student in her unique life philosophy (which unites her love for sex, baseball, mysticism, and Walt Whitman in equal parts.)

This season, her two prospects are Ebby Calvin “Nuke” Laloosh (Tim Robbins), a promising but uncontrollable young pitcher, and Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), a veteran catcher signed by the team to mentor and develop Robbins’ immature young talent.

Costner’s wise, old catcher provides the soul of the movie, a well-traveled student of the game who describes himself as “the player to be named later.” A minor-league lifer who’s only ever spent three weeks in the majors, Costner plays Davis as a weary, bemused soul who’s a bit out of place in a baseball locker room. Costner swills good Scotch, woos Sarandon with grandstanding speeches about life, sex, and baseball, and leads a team who watch him with reverence, even if they don’t quite understand him. Once, one of his teammates said, he even saw Costner reading a book without pictures.

We first meet Robbins sneaking a quick sexual escapade in the locker room before his major-league debut; after the game, the girl in question diagnoses both his lovemaking and his pitching as “kind of all over the place.” Costner quickly diagnoses Robbins as having “a million-dollar [pitching] arm and a ten-cent head.”

The love triangle between Costner, Robbins and Sarandon unwinds over the course of a season in which both Costner and Sarandon try to steer Robbins toward the majors. We watch the Bulls’ fortunes rise and fall, but most of the baseball scenes are shot as vignettes of Costner and Robbins’ interactions, and many don’t even mention the outcome of the game in question.

Bull Durham – written and directed by former minor-league baseball player Ron Shelton - is more interested in painting a picture of  life in minor league baseball than in the story of this one team’s wins and losses. That effort has been a success – as a tribute to the film’s authenticity, the movie is still quoted and referenced by baseball players and reporters, over 20 years after its release.

Happy Accidents

The plot is a bit out there, but the “out-there quality” is something that I think should be fully embraced. You’ll think it’s going to be just another typical rom-com, but things quickly take a more interesting, and thoughtful, turn. Ruby is a young, pretty woman living the single life in NYC. Unfortunately, her tendency to believe that she is a “male miracle worker” has lead to great unsuccess with the opposite sex. She becomes involved with guys who don’t really have it all together and consequently ends up trying to “fix them” and whatever problems they may have. Nothing really lasts this way for her, until she meets the oddity that is Sam. A seemingly sweet but sincere guy, Ruby takes a liking to him, and the two begin to date. Sam is shy and awkward, but Ruby embraces his eccentricity. Nothing prepares her for the shock that comes when she finds out that the explanation for Sam’s oddness is not that he is inexperienced with women but that instead he is from the year 2470 (aka the future), on a special mission back in time. Their relationships grows and is tested in various unusual ways as Ruby finds out more and more about Sam’s unique story, and how she plays a role in it.

A great strength of Happy Accidents is that, at least on a personal level, it’s very different from anything I’ve ever seen before. The cinematic style gives the movie a hazy, almost dreamlike look, that makes you feel like you’re looking through some private windows into someone else’s life, only to discover that they have some very interesting secrets. The soundtrack helps this dreamy feel, with a swirling but minimalistic background score that lends itself perfectly to the moment. It’s successfully artistic without being directionless. And Ruby (Marisa Tomei) is a very likeable character, and one that you become very attached to. The audience is put in her shoes and feels what she feels.

The major success of Happy Accidents is that you almost forget that it’s strange that Sam’s from the future. Despite all the oddities and unusual circumstances brought on by this, Ruby and Sam’s relationship is made surprisingly normal. Though being from the future is not something commonly encountered, it becomes just another domestic problem as any couple faces. And that’s what makes the movie so great. At first, you’re taken aback by the whole science-fiction concept. But then, you fall into line with Ruby and Sam’s relationship, finding remnants of your own in a place that’s truly out of this world.