One for the Money

He Said:
The fact that the character of Stephanie Plum was the bounty hunter heroine from Janet Evanovich’s popular book  series was the movie’s only saving grace for me. As a person who craves either incredible special effects or an incredible story, this is the kind of film I tend to avoid at all costs: a cheesy romance with an action plot. I’m not trying to bag on all romantic comedies, as there are some I really do enjoy. Just to give that statement some relevance, I thought Life As We Know It, which also starred Katherine Heig, was a decent romantic comedy.

Unfortunately, the story’s origin could not save the film’s interpretation from disaster. As I suspected, it was another cheesy romance with some action thrown in. I just didn’t feel pulled into the film. Probably my biggest issue is the severe lack of chemistry between the characters. Frankly, I like Jason O’Mara as an actor, but I think he should stick to the TV series Terra Nova or try a different kind a film. There seemed to be a lack of connection between him and the other characters in the film. I think Katherine Heigl regressed with this film. As much as I like her as an actress, I’m not really sure she can pull off an action heroine.

My Rating: TV or don’t bother.

She Said:
I can’t figure out why I keep insisting we see Katherine Heigl movies. I guess I just want to like her as I once did when she played Izzie Stevens on Grey’s Anatomy. Unfortunately, every time I watch her play the same girl-next-door-in-over-her-head character I have the opposite reaction – I want to punch that doe-eye surprised look off her face.

Heigl’s character, Stephanie Plum, is supposed to be a brazen, reluctantly courageous, funny character. On screen, she’s just annoying. The predictable plot focuses on Plum’s first assignment as a retail lingerie clerk turned Bounty Hunter – she has to capture corrupt cop, Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), who just so happens to be the boy she lost her virginity to several years ago. What an unlikely coincidence!

The unimaginative plot revolves around a tired push-pull anti-relationship between fugitive and captor. Didn’t I already see something like this with Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in The Bounty Hunter? Actually, that’s not a fair comparison. The chemistry between Heigl and O’Mara makes Aniston and Butler’s chemistry look like Romeo and Juliet.

One for the Money was a colossal train-wreck. The screenplay is a convoluted mess, the chemistry is flat, the supporting cast is bland at best, and the dialogue is forced and unnatural.

My Rating: Don’t Bother

Joyful Noise

I’ve spoken to several people who saw it and were deeply disappointed because it wasn’t the Christian movie they thought it would be. Joyful Noise is rated PG-13 and fully deserves it for a select handful of words that are a bit of a shock to the system considering the nature of the film. But properly put into perspective as a secular film, Joyful Noise is fairly tame.

From beginning to end, Joyful Noise is full of down home country wisdom that sounds absolutely natural coming out of Dolly Parton’s unnaturally preserved mouth. She and her folksy compatriots from Paccashaw, Georgia offer up such countrified pearls as “When foxes pack the jury box, the chicken is always guilty,” “I’d call you stubborn but it’d be an insult to mules,” “There’s always free cheese in the mousetrap but trust me, the mice there ain’t happy,” and “When you sing, the angels just about spit with envy.”

The film follows the members of a small town church choir competing in a national Gospel competition. Along the way the daughter of the choir director and the grandson of one of its prominent members begin a forbidden romance.

Alternately touching and funny, Joyful Noise accomplishes the goal of providing a platform for the musical talents of the stellar cast, which includes Parton, Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, Jeremy Jordan, and – in a much too brief cameo performance – Kirk Franklin. It doesn’t cater to the most likely audience for a movie about a church choir and filled with Gospel music. Instead, it tries, and ultimately fails, to bridge the gap and be worldly enough for a general audience but “churchy” enough for fans of films like Courageous and Fireproof.

Then I watched the trailer. Eyes were poked. Heads were hit with hammers. Lobsters were shoved down trouser fronts. And, oh, the dynamite. It was everything that one could want from the Stooges.

There were also a few head scratching inclusions. A sexy nun in a sexy bathing suit looking kinda sexy. But she’s a nun. I’m not sure what to do with that image.

There’s also a cameo by Snooki, the obnoxious drunk from Jersey Shore – sorry, that’s not fair to Snooki. I should say “one of the obnoxious drunks from Jersey Shore”. Anyway, at first I was not enthused at seeing her overly tanned face in the Three Stooges trailer, but then Moe poked her in the eyes and all seemed well.

The casting is just perfect. Chris Diamantopoulos has Moe down. Sean Hayes does a terrific Larry. And Will Sasso IS Curly. Judging from the trailer, the movie will contain a good blend of old (“Don’t forget to dot the i’s”) and new (“An Eye Phone?”)

Trailers can be deceiving, but if this 2 minutes accurately represents the tone and feel of the film, this is going to be a treat for the millions of knuckleheads around the world who adore the Stooges of yore.

When Harry Met Sally

Harry meets Sally when they graduate from the University of Chicago, and Sally gives Harry a ride to New York City.  Like vinegar and water, they don’t mix well.  The main topic of their drive is whether men and women can be friends.  It is determined that a heterosexual friendship is not possible and, thus, they part ways upon their arrival in NYC.

Of course, that isn’t the end for Harry and Sally, or we wouldn’t have a movie.  As these things happen, they meet up again on a flight.  However, Harry still holds true to his belief that men and women can’t be friends, and again they part ways when the journey ends.

With some twist of fate Harry and Sally reunite at a bookstore.  Both are single, having gone through break-ups recently.  They agree to dinner together, and with this a platonic relationship begins.  If it were simple, the friendship would quickly blossom into a romance, but that is not the case, which is part of what makes this movie so charming.  There are ups and downs and interesting twists before the movie draws to an end.

The ending of this movie takes place on New Year’s Eve, making it a great movie to watch at this time of year.  I won’t share the ending with you; you’ll need to watch it for yourself.

Get ready to enjoy seeing the changes of fashion, as the movie progresses from 1977 to 1989.  Also, if movies can make you cry, you may want to have a tissue or two handy.

I, personally, found the movie quite boring.  It had all been done before.  Yes, there was an age where I, too, was all about the Chipmunks, but I am now far past that stage.  Just like there was a time where I would have found their movies hilarious.  But, now I don’t.  20th Century Fox has had some great movies, some grand slams and some home runs.  Then you have the middle of the road singles, doubles, and triples.  But then you get a movie like this that is merely just a swing and a miss.

Sure there were a few decent parts about the movie, but most of it just made me wish it could be over sooner.  Although, I did love the choices of songs they sang.  They did quite a few pop songs that everybody loves.  Even though they chose songs that were a couple years old, they were songs that, if they came on the radio today you wouldn’t be surprised and would start singing along.  I very much commend them on their musical choices.

But, to counteract that compliment, I must say that I completely hate their singing.  Ya ya, I know, they’re chipmunks, their voices are supposed to be squeaky.  But, good lord, their voices are annoying.  That was the thing that I disliked the most about the movie.  Their voices are like a boy’s when he is going through puberty and his voice cracks, except they are nasal!  I can still hearthem in my head and it is driving me crazy!

But, anyways, I thought the movie was about a two point five out of five.  If you asked a child they would probably say five, but if you asked an adult on their perspective they would probably say around a zero or one, so I averaged the two into a two point five.  So there you have, I thought the movie wasn’t very good, but your child will probably love it.

A Cinderella story, its writing and acting help the audience forget that the protagonist is a hooker.  Julia Roberts does a fine job of playing Vivian, a young woman who has taken to prostitution and lacks social graces.  Her inexperience with fine dining, upscale shopping, and even common manners (such as how to dispose of chewing gum) makes her seem simply like clay that needs molding, as opposed to being rude or uneducated.

The hero in this story is business mogul, Edward, played by Richard Gere.  A man who is focused on his career and making money, he suddenly realizes the value of companionship in Vivian.  While intending only to enter into a business relationship with Vivian as his escort for the week, Edward develops an appreciation for her and for a new side of himself.

Of course, as this is a classic rescue the girl story, there are battles to be fought and enemies to overcome.  The ending, while not surprising, is charming.  If you are seeking a happy ending, this movie delivers.

Pretty Woman is a movie that you need to accept at face value.  Don’t try to rationalize the odds of a prostitute being picked up by a well-to-do businessman and having a happily ever after ending in which she no longer needs to walk the streets.  Simply watch it for the light moments and feel good ending.

New Year’s Eve

He Said:
After seeing Valentine’s Day, I really didn’t have high hopes for this movie. Based on the previews, it appeared to be an exact replica of Valentine’s Day that takes place on a different holiday. Valentine’s Day was a film about the lives and relationships of various people. Sort of like a bunch of short films that have been put together to make one movie and frankly, I was not impressed. The biggest draw to Valentine’s Day was having practically every noteworthy actor make an appearance in the film. I was hoping New Year’s Eve would have something else to pull me into the story, but much to my dismay, it didn’t. It felt like I was watching the Oscars as a smorgasbord of famous actors and their cousins made an appearance in the film.

Despite the sheer acting power of such a star-studded cast, I thought the acting was terrible. I didn’t really care about any of the characters and I wasn’t really buying into any of their stories, as the acting felt too forced a lot of the time. The other problem was that  it felt like I was staring at a really busy Hawaiian shirt. There were just too many stories to follow to give each one proper consideration, and not enough character development. I feel like I could have gotten the same enjoyment out of  the E! Entertainment channel on cable TV.

My Rating: Don’t bother.

She Said:
As a hopeless romantic, I really wanted to like this movie. I agree with Michael that its predecessor, Valentine’s Day, was a complete bust. I was hoping Hollywood learned from its earlier mistakes and would give us a montage film worthy of competing with Love, Actually.

Unfortunately, all New Year’s Eve has to offer is a mashed-up compilation of every unoriginal romantic comedy movie ever made…performed by every big name actor in the business. In fact, I think that was part of this movie’s downfall – with so many big name actors in the film, I never really got to know any of the characters, much less care about them. Just as I started getting a teeny bit interested in a particular story line, the movie jumped to another plot, leaving me feeling disconnected from the characters.

The best thing I can say about this movie is, it reminded me to work on my New Year’s resolutions. In fact, let me save you some time and money: skip this movie and work on your own New Year’s resolutions instead – you’ll have more fun.

My Rating: Don’t Bother

If you’ve never seen The Muppet Show, you cannot appreciate The Muppets for what it really is – a nostalgic trip down memory lane for those of us who grew up watching and loving Kermit, Fozzie, Miss Piggy, and the gang. If your head wasn’t bobbing back and forth with the audience when Kermit sang “Rainbow Connection“, there is a dead spot where your soul should be. OK, that may be a little harsh but you get my point.

The basic premise of The Muppets is simple, tried, and true. Kermit must get the band back together in order to raise a whole lot of money to save the old Muppet Theater. He teams up with human Gary (Jason Segel) and his Muppet brother Walter to collect the old gang and put on a one-night-only Muppet Telethon to save the theater.

The film is replete with blink-and-you’ll-miss-them cameos. There are several musical numbers and two separate romantic subplots. All of which leave the movie a little too crowded to give proper screen time to some of your old favorites. Muppet standbys the Swedish Chef, Dr. Bunsen, Beaker, and Rizzo the rat are left on the sidelines with sparse parts.

There are worse ways to spend 98 minutes than to enjoy The Muppets along with your family and introduce a new generation to a classic. As an added bonus, there is a new Toy Story short running with the film. Although brief, it is well done and feels like a all-too-brief visit with some old friends.

Released in 1983, this almost forty-year-old movie has become a cult classic.  If you haven’t heard the line, “You’ll shoot your eye out,” you really need to watch this movie.  If you know the line, it’s time to watch again.

Told from the perspective of an elementary aged boy named Ralphie in 1940, it humorously depicts the excitement and anticipation of Christmas for children.  Ralphie’s one wish for Christmas is to be given a Red Rider BB gun, but everyone tells him that it’s dangerous (hence the quote above).

As Ralphie awaits Christmas’ arrival, one can empathize with him as he endures typical childhood lessons.  He excitedly uses a decoder ring while listening to Little Orphan Annie, only to learn that the “secret message” is an advertisement.  He dreams of the A+ that he will receive for his essay on Red Rider BB guns, but instead he receives a C+.  Ralphie accidentally says the F-word in front of his father and receives a mouthful of soap as punishment.

Christmas Day arrives, and nothing about the day is perfect.  From the dinner eaten by dogs to the injury caused by a present, Ralphie’s family is not having a day that evokes a print by Currier and Ives.  However, as Ralphie and his family sit around a table at a local Chinese restaurant, it is obvious that all one really needs on Christmas is family.

For a light-hearted movie filled with Christmas spirit, A Christmas Story is the perfect choice.

Jack and Jill

This movie was a bit surprising on a few levels. I wouldn’t say it was as good as Happy Gilmore. But it did have a very touching underlying story about the importance of family and of being loved. Unlike other movies, not all of the comedy was shown in the trailer.

Most of the comedy was the visual slapstick that is characteristic of Adam Sandler. The break out comedic surprise was Al Pacino — although some of his acting roles were a bit confusing, if you aren’t familiar with Shakespeare or other classics.

I also didn’t expect Al Pacino to play such a central role in the movie. The movie advertisements were keeping him as a surprise for viewers because he was  in the film almost as much as Jill was.

But in reality, it was the bird that stole the movie. There definitely should have been more scenes with the bird. The bird carried many of the comedic support scenes.

Despite these types of surprises and a few laughs, the movie did tend to go overboard at times. It did rely a lot on gross humor. There was one scene with Al Pacino that made me wince more than laugh.

This movie is made for the rental market rather than for the movie theater. There were a couple of reasons. The first is that the movie is really short. It clocks in at about an hour and a half which is shorter than the kids’ movies that are out.

Second, its humor was mainly physical. While funny at times, it just became gross at certain points. I think it was mainly for this reason that it got the PG rating.

Check it out on DVD if you are an Adam Sandler fan.