Archive for July, 2007

Well Jody and I recently saw Evan Almighty. I had  feeling going into this movie that it was going to be lame but since we are both such big fans of “The Office” we had hope.

I should have gone with my gut instinct on this one. This was probably one of the dumbest movies ever made. I am still trying to wrap my head around how they managed to spend $175 million to make one of the worst movies ever. The only thing I can come up with is they spent the money to create digital animals which would be fine except there was no purpose to even have the animals in the movie in the first place.

Evan was supposed to be the new Noah. In an attempt to add humor to the movie they decided to have animals follow him around wherever he went. It was mildly entertaining the first time they showed how it interfered with his new job as a Senator. The problem is they did the same gag about 7 more times.

Sarcasm and Spoilers Now:

I have to say it was hilarious when a stray dog that showed up at their house kept biting Evan’s crotch over and over, or how Morgan Freeman kept dissappearing and appearing to the surprise of Evan, over and over and over.

It was nothing less than a miracle that the flood waters were small enough to stay on one street but for some reason Evan had to build a giant ark. No animals were hurt and none would have been hurt with or without the ark being built.

The funniest part(s) of the movie was this hilarious dance that Evan kept doing for no apparent reason. He even called it, “The Dance”. It was a dummied down non-funny version of a Michael Scott celebretory dance you might see on The Office. To top it all off, after the credits roll Morgan Freeman comes back on and says, “I’ve added an eleventh commandment, thou shalt do the dance.” and then they roll clips of everyone doing “The dance”. 

As we were trying to exit the theatre as quickly as possible so as to avoid any more exposure I thought to myself, movies have finally hit rock bottom. If a studio will sign off on this miserable attempt at something even the slightest bit entertaining, it says a lot about the state of affairs in Hollywood.

How We Would Make It Better:

This movie would demand an entire rewrite. They could have done things to make it more entertaining but every part of the movie was so dumb that I refuse to attempt to right this ship. (Pun intended)

This post was originally written August 8, 2006: 

Warner Bros screwed up big time. They finally got what they wanted, M. Night Shyamalan. He wrote an original, really cool story and they panicked. They thought they had to market as a horror film because thats what Disney had done with his other films and been successful. The previews made the movie look like you would have to endure 2 hours of pure terror. 

I am a big Shyamalan fan and would have seen this movie no matter what the preview was, but even I thought to myself, “Is that all this movie is going to be? A wierd looking wolf attacking people for the whole movie? It doesn’t sound appealing.”  

I was pleasantly surprised that the movie was not about the wolf but instead was an original story about the amazing role normal people can play in someones life. Days after I had seen the movie I couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

I have spoken to many people asking them if they will go see Lady and many said that it looks too scary. Even when I tell them it isn’t scary at all, they won’t believe me. Instead they are going to see Pirates 2. Everyone has to see that right? I mean, it’s Pirates 2. 

So what has happened, is a good original story that should have been seen by the masses is quickly moving out of theatres while a below average sequel continues to break box office records.  

Here is the message we have implanted in the minds and hearts of

Hollywood: Make more sequels and make lots of money. Make original movies and lose money. Great, I can’t wait to see Transporter 3 or Posiedon 2. It is a crime against movie goers and we’re the one’s to blame. 

What I intend to do: 

Now that the previews have stopped playing people should start to forget how “scary” the movie looks, I am going on a grass roots campaign to tell as many people as I can how good the movie was and that they have to go see it. Im going to go take my wife and see it again. Im going to do my part to help support one of the very few people in Hollywood that actually comes up with their own original ideas instead of using a book, comic or video game to make a quick buck.  

Support Originality! That’s my motto now. If you agree with what I have said, then please tell everyone you know to see the movie. Let’s make sure that more original ideas come to the big screen and less below average sequels.

Starring: John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Billy Crystal, Michelle Pfeiffer Review: It's a gay thing. That seems to be the excuse most guys use to avoid musicals. Chicago? Gay. Dreamgirls? Supergay. Phantom of the Opera? Don't start. No way is Hairspray going to turn the dudes Brokeback. For starters, it stars John Travolta in a dress. But cut it some slack, and the movie version of the still-running Broadway hit is a plus-size bundle of fun, despite herky-jerky pacing. It helps that Leslie Dixon's screenplay stays in tune with the source material, the 1988 movie that gave John Waters -- the sultan of sleaze -- his first mainstream hit. Set in the racially divided Baltimore of 1962, the Waters film suggests that the closest a black teenager could get to cultural integration was "Negro Day" on The Corny Collins Show, a local whiter-than-white American Bandstand.... Rating: 3 Stars

Over the course of one hot post-graduate summer, Hannah Greta Gerwig, falls precariously in and out of love. A breaker of hearts and chronically dissatisfied she finds herself drifting away from her newly unemployed boyfriend Mark Duplass, THE PUFFY CHAIR and drawn to two of her co-workers, Matt Kent Osborne and Paul Andrew Bujalski, MUTUAL APPRECIATION.

The movie plays like a spunkier IGood Morning VietnamI with a Motown twist. Don Cheadle, generally playing the earnest do-gooder in films like IHotel RwandaI and ICrashI, taps into his hilarious, no-holds-barred side and demonstrates why he is easily one of the best actors around. Hes a little less Denzel here and a little more ! Ice Cube.

That “Hairspray” is good-hearted is no surprise. The surprise may be that this “Hairspray,” stuffed with shiny showstoppers, is actually good.

PENELOPE is the story of a young woman, Penelope Wilhern Christina Ricci, born to wealthy socialites Richard E. Grant and Catherine OHara. Penelope is afflicted by a secret family curse that can only be broken when she is loved by one of her own kind. Hidden away in the familys majestic home, she is subjected to meeting a string of blue-bloods through her parents futile attempt to marry her off and break the curse. Each suitor is instantly enamored with Penelope and her sizable dowry until the curse is revealed.

Paul, depressed from his recent break-up with Anna, returns home to Paris and moves back in with his divorced father and amorous younger brother, Jonathan. While his carefree sibling and doting father try in vain to cheer him up, a visit from his mother seems to be the only thing that brings him joy. When Paul is then left in the house to brood and talk to one of his brothers girlfriends, he begins to realize that while things havent gone according to plan, one can always find something to live for.

Its 1983 and school is out. Twelve-year-old Shaun is a lonely boy growing up in a grim coastal town in northern England, whose father died fighting in the Falklands War. Over the course of the summer holiday he befriends a group of local skinheads. With his pent-up rage and frustration, Shaun finds exactly what he needs in the gang-mischief, mayhem and brotherhood. He also meets the volatile and boorish Combo, an older skinhead who sees himself in Shaun. Adopting Shaun as his protege, Combo leads the gang down a hate spewing path that culminates in an irreversible act of violence.

After an accident in the mysterious lab of maniacal scientist Dr. Simon Barsinister Peter Dinklage, an ordinary beagle unexpectedly finds himself with unimaginable powers and the ability to speak. Armed with a fetching superhero costume, Underdog vows to protect the beleaguered citizens of Capitol City and, in particular, one beautiful spaniel named Polly Purebread voiced by Academy Award nominee Amy Adams. When a sinister plot by Barsinister and his overgrown henchman Cad Patrick Wharburton threatens to destroy Capitol City only Underdog can save the day.